Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (4 Viewers)

[Peach]

Spoiler

I am so tired of everything. I was naive and thought it'd last forever but of course it didn't. It's over now and I can't move on, I don't know why I am even trying to win him back, maybe because I am so desperate and so lonely, and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone again but he said he doesn't want me. I asked him if he finds me repulsive, he said yes. Told me that it's my personality but if he doesn't tell me what part of my personality is repulsive, then how can I even change at all.. is he lying to me? Am I really that horrible? I did so much good to him and this is how he pays me back. I refuse to believe it.

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler

I am so tired of everything. I was naive and thought it'd last forever but of course it didn't. It's over now and I can't move on, I don't know why I am even trying to win him back, maybe because I am so desperate and so lonely, and I don't think I'll ever meet anyone again but he said he doesn't want me. I asked him if he finds me repulsive, he said yes. Told me that it's my personality but if he doesn't tell me what part of my personality is repulsive, then how can I even change at all.. is he lying to me? Am I really that horrible? I did so much good to him and this is how he pays me back. I refuse to believe it.

Spoiler

Please stop. You're not repulsive, the two of you are just not right for each other. Someone who would even say something like that to you is not someone for you. Don't chase after him, focus on taking care of yourself. I know this feeling, I know how hard it is and that's why I don't want you making the same mistakes.. You have value all on your own, it doesn't have anything to do with him or anyone else. You don't need him. It hurts, but it will heal as well even if it takes time. Just work on distancing yourself from the idea of being wih him for now. You will be okay <3

 

[Peach]

Spoiler

Please stop. You're not repulsive, the two of you are just not right for each other. Someone who would even say something like that to you is not someone for you. Don't chase after him, focus on taking care of yourself. I know this feeling, I know how hard it is and that's why I don't want you making the same mistakes.. You have value all on your own, it doesn't have anything to do with him or anyone else. You don't need him. It hurts, but it will heal as well even if it takes time. Just work on distancing yourself from the idea of being wih him for now. You will be okay <3

Spoiler

Thank you so much. ;;

I honestly agree with you, he said that I am not, but he always says these things when he's angry and I can't deal with it. I honestly want to forget him but I can't do it until after September so until then I have to get through it despite it being so difficult. I even told him that I don't want relationship with him because I want to deal with my own issues and fix my flaws. I just want him to respect me but what can I do if he doesn't even respect himself. It's so difficult to change around person who doesn't want to change and it's not like I want him to change whole, I just wanted him to realise that others can also be right and not just him.

But I'll try my best no matter how long it'll take me. Because eventually I might come across someone even better.

 

[kodoku]

Spoiler

Thank you so much. ;;

I honestly agree with you, he said that I am not, but he always says these things when he's angry and I can't deal with it. I honestly want to forget him but I can't do it until after September so until then I have to get through it despite it being so difficult. I even told him that I don't want relationship with him because I want to deal with my own issues and fix my flaws. I just want him to respect me but what can I do if he doesn't even respect himself. It's so difficult to change around person who doesn't want to change and it's not like I want him to change whole, I just wanted him to realise that others can also be right and not just him.

But I'll try my best no matter how long it'll take me. Because eventually I might come across someone even better.

Spoiler

no problem cutie <3 and yeah, just try to stay away from him, distract yourself from thoughts of him too, and focus on yourself and what's good for you.. it's gonna be okay, trust me :)

 

[jasque]

How to sleep

Tutorials arent working, damn wiki how

 

[jasque]

play sum white noise, that should help

you need to get more sleep dad

Thx son
.I was missing anxiety and it came with a bang xd

 

[jasque]

Nvm i wont even try anymore

Its friday anyway

 

[kddicted]

Spoiler

It's always in the back of my mind that people in front of me aren't placed as background ornaments, they are people with stories. How often did I watch others treat people, including myself, as if they are nothing more than trash? When I was little, I remember having an ideal world in my mind. Due to the way I was brought up, it was an expectation that people actually have empathy and are kind to each other. I don't know why I carried on expecting that for so long, later on I called myself dumb for being naive and for allowing people to see that part of me. I was angry at myself just as much as I was angry towards the environment I was in. So many lives are lost because of the way people treat each other, lives I've seen, lives I will never know. And in more ways than one. I'd give anything to return to the sheltered view I was given before then. I sometimes hate that I changed so much. Even though it's a part of life to change. I lost a lot of people over the years in different ways, but all I miss is how I used to be. I'll never be the same again.

I feel disconnected often. Like my soul is someplace else than here, wandering while my body remains grounded. The word ugly used to hurt me, now I wonder how it ever did. I know I'll never be beautiful the way I want to be, but it's become insignificant. For a face to appear unfamiliar despite having lived with it for years, I'm looking at how empty I feel. At the end of a day, I always wonder if that person who said and did those things was truly me, because I didn't feel it at all. Maybe I am a selfish person, I'm always searching for more. Selfish to feel anything but empty. More connection, more depth. I'm not one step closer to understanding myself and why I find myself so sad when I'm not trying to forget I am. If I had a past life, I wonder what happened to keep my soul sad in the next. I know that's strange thinking but when you grow up in this way, it's only so long before you start to come up with reasons for why you're unexplainably sad in certain situations that run along a similar pattern. Even when you're laughing, it seems to follow closely behind and laugh at the way you're trying to forget it, you and it both know you'll either run from it all your life or make something out of your life. I can face myself, because I have before.

 

[Hajima]

i'm such an idiot.... i have a major surgery in 10 days. it's truly over for me

 

[Hajima]

You can hun, you are stronger than you know <3

 

[kodoku]

@Hajima

Spoiler

very interesting and relatable thoughts.. I don't think you're selfish, this is human nature. You seem to have a deep a beautiful soul too.. I pray your surgery goes well 💕

 

[Hajima]

i have all kind of mental disorders. tbh.. depression.... borderline...bipolar....anxiety... panic disorder... .and i always hear voices it's like not my thoughts someone else thoughts. but at least i don't have the bad ones narcissist or sociopath. i care about people around me.

 

[Hajima]

i have tried to end my life multiple times in the past... but i always fail. the most crazy one was getting drunk and throwing myself in the highway. there really nothing going on for me i'm ugly untalented and dumb. i have no friends and my family hate me for being a loser.

 

[Hyunjin]

i have tried to end my life multiple times in the past... but i always fail. the most crazy one was getting drunk and throwing myself in the highway. there really nothing going on for me i'm ugly untalented and dumb. i have no friends and my family hate me for being a loser.

no you are cool id be ur friend

 

[potato]

Spoiler

It's always in the back of my mind that people in front of me aren't placed as background ornaments, they are people with stories. How often did I watch others treat people, including myself, as if they are nothing more than trash? When I was little, I remember having an ideal world in my mind. Due to the way I was brought up, it was an expectation that people actually have empathy and are kind to each other. I don't know why I carried on expecting that for so long, later on I called myself dumb for being naive and for allowing people to see that part of me. I was angry at myself just as much as I was angry towards the environment I was in. So many lives are lost because of the way people treat each other, lives I've seen, lives I will never know. And in more ways than one. I'd give anything to return to the sheltered view I was given before then. I sometimes hate that I changed so much. Even though it's a part of life to change. I lost a lot of people over the years in different ways, but all I miss is how I used to be. I'll never be the same again.

I feel disconnected often. Like my soul is someplace else than here, wandering while my body remains grounded. The word ugly used to hurt me, now I wonder how it ever did. I know I'll never be beautiful the way I want to be, but it's become insignificant. For a face to appear unfamiliar despite having lived with it for years, I'm looking at how empty I feel. At the end of a day, I always wonder if that person who said and did those things was truly me, because I didn't feel it at all. Maybe I am a selfish person, I'm always searching for more. Selfish to feel anything but empty. More connection, more depth. I'm not one step closer to understanding myself and why I find myself so sad when I'm not trying to forget I am. If I had a past life, I wonder what happened to keep my soul sad in the next. I know that's strange thinking but when you grow up in this way, it's only so long before you start to come up with reasons for why you're unexplainably sad in certain situations that run along a similar pattern. Even when you're laughing, it seems to follow closely behind and laugh at the way you're trying to forget it, you and it both know you'll either run from it all your life or make something out of your life. I can face myself, because I have before.

Spoiler

I appreciate this post a lot. Everyone has that moment when they realise that the world they lived in wasn't so blissful and happy as they thought it would be. I was struck by something similar a few months ago too. I suffered and cried and I hated myself for being that way. All those characters in those movies are so strong and brave but why was I so weak? It was difficult to overcome.

I always considered myself incredibly lucky to live in a regular family but I didn't realise how dysfunctional we were at all. I didn't realise how cruel people could be. But I overcame it and when I did, I had a better outlook on life than I did before.

You're right. People lack empathy and they lack love. But that shouldn't stop you from lacking those things at all. The people you have lost and the people who you think about all make you the person you are today. Each memory, whether painful or pleasurable, makes a part of you and you should take pride in that feeling. You've changed for the better. You've seen past the sheltered life that you lead before and I don't think that's a bad thing at all. You've taken one step closer to understanding yourself and those around you. Merely thinking that you haven't completely understood yourself means you've understood yourself a lot. What I mean by this is that you've understood that there are so many layers to yourself that you haven't even begun to uncover them yet.

And you're not selfish at all. It's not a crime at all to seek answers and connection to other people and you're feelings. You're at a point which people call crossroads and you're making important decisions. You're finding yourself and that's a beautiful thing.

I think you are a beautiful person. Everyone is beautiful and even if you're not in the way you want to be, that's okay. Because, in the end, people are people and we all will feel down and upset at time. I'm patiently waiting for the day that you can proudly call yourself a beautiful person because you deserve it <3

 

[kodoku]

@Hajima

Spoiler

you're a strong person and I find you likeable as well. There will be people who will accept you, sometimes it takes time.. (it did for me too..) I'm sorry you had to struggle so much, I hope you can still believe in the beauty of life and I can be your friend, at the very least :) <3

 

[lexus]

This is kind of stupid to complain about, but I absolutely hate doing writing assignments. The reason why is because I always type something, erase it, write again, and then the cycle keeps repeating itself. And the reason why I do that is because I always get a negative thought or image in my head and I feel like I'll die or something if I don't erase it and type it again (with a good thought in my head). I don't really know how else to explain it. I seriously hate having OCD. It could take me hours to finish an assignment because it (and also from ADD).

I just needed to vent about this....

 

[Ahsoka]

This is kind of stupid to complain about, but I absolutely hate doing writing assignments. The reason why is because I always type something, erase it, write again, and then the cycle keeps repeating itself. And the reason why I do that is because I always get a negative thought or image in my head and I feel like I'll die or something if I don't erase it and type it again (with a good thought in my head). I don't really know how else to explain it. I seriously hate having OCD. It could take me hours to finish an assignment because it (and also from ADD).

I just needed to vent about this....

 

[lexus]

This is another reason why I love you so much

 

[Hyunjin]

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