A rant please ignore, just need to get smth off my chest (1 Viewer)

[maruberry]

Sorry I am just gonna rant here for a moment, I just need somehwere to vent...

Spoiler

Like this isn't that big of a deal but like just over time it bothers me more and more and more
And it is that even when my brothers are home (and not like visiting for one day, but like staying here for like a week etc)
it is always Maria do this, Maria do that
Maria your brother is cooking food, so go bring the potatoes
he made the food so you make the salad
he is making food so you wash the pot
And I mean alright
but it isn't like THEY do something like that for me
When I have to make food and ask my brother to make the salad or smth like that it is just a plain no
and my parents never say anything about that
but when I refuse to do something it is always just a NO you have yo help your brother
HE IS MAKING THE FOOD afterall
And when I bring it up, it is always just me being dramatic
blowing things out of proportions
Like LITERALLY when I say no, I get nagged at, my brother grumbles about how I don't want to do anything etc
But if I do smth nobody even OFFERS to fucking help and even if I ask I don't get it
And although it is always little things, they just pile up and up
and fuck I hate it so fucking much
It's like especially during holidays or when ppl are coming to visit
it is like every other minute
Maria go make coffee
Maria go bring the cups
Maria cut the cake
Maria clean the table
Maria, maria, maria, maria, maria
And ffs It isn't like they are hard things I can do them if asked
But like THEY can do it too
And if it is EVERY SINGLE TIME
And it is such a fucking small things
but it is a lot of small things
and they just fucking add up
And if I bring it up EVERYBODY is gonna be in a bad mood and that is usually on a holiday and I don't want to ruin everybodys mood on a holiday
and I just don't know what tf to do, bcs even if I bring it up ppl just say I am being unreasonable
Like I literally just told my mother that I won't be washing the pot for my brother bcs he is perfectly capable of doing it himself
And said that I am ALWAYS having to do things to help him, while he does fuck all for me
AND MY MOTHER LITERALLY SAID
He asked you to bring potatoes before and you didn't, so he brought them himself
like that is something I should be thankful for
THANKS HE BROUGHT THE FUCKING POTATOES THAT HE WILL BE COOKING
WHAT A FUCKING THING TO DO FOR ME
Literally a thing I do at least every other day before making food
LITERALLY
And it isn't even like I'm being asked nicely
maria, please help me make some salad would you be so nice?
FUCK NO
It is Maria make the salad
I made the food so you have to make the salad
LIKE FUCK THIS


Sorry for the rant

This is all such petty stuff and I feel like such an unreasonable person as well being this mad about it....
But I just can't and it has been bothering me for such a long time now.

 

[DrowningFishy]

Sorry I am just gonna rant here for a moment, I just need somehwere to vent...

Spoiler

Like this isn't that big of a deal but like just over time it bothers me more and more and more
And it is that even when my brothers are home (and not like visiting for one day, but like staying here for like a week etc)
it is always Maria do this, Maria do that
Maria your brother is cooking food, so go bring the potatoes
he made the food so you make the salad
he is making food so you wash the pot
And I mean alright
but it isn't like THEY do something like that for me
When I have to make food and ask my brother to make the salad or smth like that it is just a plain no
and my parents never say anything about that
but when I refuse to do something it is always just a NO you have yo help your brother
HE IS MAKING THE FOOD afterall
And when I bring it up, it is always just me being dramatic
blowing things out of proportions
Like LITERALLY when I say no, I get nagged at, my brother grumbles about how I don't want to do anything etc
But if I do smth nobody even OFFERS to fucking help and even if I ask I don't get it
And although it is always little things, they just pile up and up
and fuck I hate it so fucking much
It's like especially during holidays or when ppl are coming to visit
it is like every other minute
Maria go make coffee
Maria go bring the cups
Maria cut the cake
Maria clean the table
Maria, maria, maria, maria, maria
And ffs It isn't like they are hard things I can do them if asked
But like THEY can do it too
And if it is EVERY SINGLE TIME
And it is such a fucking small things
but it is a lot of small things
and they just fucking add up
And if I bring it up EVERYBODY is gonna be in a bad mood and that is usually on a holiday and I don't want to ruin everybodys mood on a holiday
and I just don't know what tf to do, bcs even if I bring it up ppl just say I am being unreasonable
Like I literally just told my mother that I won't be washing the pot for my brother bcs he is perfectly capable of doing it himself
And said that I am ALWAYS having to do things to help him, while he does fuck all for me
AND MY MOTHER LITERALLY SAID
He asked you to bring potatoes before and you didn't, so he brought them himself
like that is something I should be thankful for
THANKS HE BROUGHT THE FUCKING POTATOES THAT HE WILL BE COOKING
WHAT A FUCKING THING TO DO FOR ME
Literally a thing I do at least every other day before making food
LITERALLY
And it isn't even like I'm being asked nicely
maria, please help me make some salad would you be so nice?
FUCK NO
It is Maria make the salad
I made the food so you have to make the salad
LIKE FUCK THIS


Sorry for the rant

This is all such petty stuff and I feel like such an unreasonable person as well being this mad about it....
But I just can't and it has been bothering me for such a long time now.

Sounds like Maria is on the way to be a good fine cook. Seriously people are ungrateful bleepidy bleep to the real cooks.
They tell you to make the salad because they know he's going to fuck it up.
They tell you to clean the dishes because someones arms are figuratively broke and he'll fudge that up.
.
Gerneral manners is someone cooks someone else washes the dishes unless otherwise requested not to by the cook.
If you offer to make the salad or some simple side dish that doesn't make you a cook, but doesn't place you first in line to do the dishes if there is other able bodied people.

TIps for the kitchen: Run the dish water before you start cooking. Wash dishes as you are wiating for your dish to finish cooking. Sweep items off floor as you are waiting as well.

Don't depend on others to be mannered and help you.

Does it make it right? Nope, not in the least.

Will they ever change? No sadly. Ill mannered people in the kitchen will forever be that way. Just when/if you raise kids raise them with proper manners.

 

[maruberry]

Sounds like Maria is on the way to be a good fine cook. Seriously people are ungrateful bleepidy bleep to the real cooks.
They tell you to make the salad because they know he's going to fuck it up.
They tell you to clean the dishes because someones arms are figuratively broke and he'll fudge that up.
.
Gerneral manners is someone cooks someone else washes the dishes unless otherwise requested not to by the cook.
If you offer to make the salad or some simple side dish that doesn't make you a cook, but doesn't place you first in line to do the dishes if there is other able bodied people.

TIps for the kitchen: Run the dish water before you start cooking. Wash dishes as you are wiating for your dish to finish cooking. Sweep items off floor as you are waiting as well.

Don't depend on others to be mannered and help you.

Does it make it right? Nope, not in the least.

Will they ever change? No sadly. Ill mannered people in the kitchen will forever be that way. Just when/if you raise kids raise them with proper manners.

Naaaaah my brother is a wayyy better cook, I can do the basic stuff, my brother goes to school for cooking!

 

[DrowningFishy]

Naaaaah my brother is a wayyy better cook, I can do the basic stuff, my brother goes to school for cooking!

School doesn't make you a great chef. It's just cheating learnign cooking skills. Though since he is already on a petistal start cooking worse so they ask you less.

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

Naaaaah my brother is a wayyy better cook, I can do the basic stuff, my brother goes to school for cooking!

I think it sounds like pure sexism, it's 2019 going on 2020, I'm a guy with 2 brothers, they hardly ever offer to help my sisters in law with cooking or washing(sometimes but rarely), but since young ive washed dishes n helped w/cleaning up at most family gatherings, in my family (n culture), guys don't cook or clean unless elders order/request us to, now my brothers n I are the de facto elders, so it's always my sisters-in-law or their children, my nephews n niece, or me when I join them, hardly ever my brothers help to wash since they (mostly) pay n eat n act all patriarch-ily. My uncle used to order us to help wash n clean when we were at his house but he passed away, n his widow doesnt like to order our generation around nowadays, so her son usually will wash n clean if he comes back home from where he works. Sorry Maria, ur situation is just gonna be the same unless u move away n don't join in future family gatherings. Sympathies from me n I hope it gets better for u.

 

[maruberry]

I think it sounds like pure sexism, it's 2019 going on 2020, I'm a guy with 2 brothers, they hardly ever offer to help my sisters in law with cooking or washing(sometimes but rarely), but since young ive washed dishes n helped w/cleaning up at most family gatherings, in my family (n culture), guys don't cook or clean unless elders order/request us to, now my brothers n I are the de facto elders, so it's always my sisters-in-law or their children, my nephews n niece, or me when I join them, hardly ever my brothers help to wash since they (mostly) pay n eat n act all patriarch-ily. My uncle used to order us to help wash n clean when we were at his house but he passed away, n his widow doesnt like to order our generation around nowadays, so her son usually will wash n clean if he comes back home from where he works. Sorry Maria, ur situation is just gonna be the same unless u move away n don't join in future family gatherings. Sympathies from me n I hope it gets better for u.

The situation is nowhere NEAR anything like that.

You are assuming a LOT of things here.

 

[blueberries]

The situation is nowhere NEAR anything like that.

You are assuming a LOT of things here.

Are you sure? I was thinking bit feminist about it as well. I mean often women of the family are just expected to help around house more. It's definitely my mother and myself that does most work towards any celebration. It feels like men of the family are often automatically expected less responsibility for celebrations, when for me it's sth i have to do or nth gets done. My family actually told me t hat when i'm not visiting during celebrations they practically do nth cause they cannot get anyone to organize stuff

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

The situation is nowhere NEAR anything like that.

You are assuming a LOT of things here.

I did say "it sounds like" since I don't know your family n I don't know why else your mother would ask you you to make salad n other things. I'll just take it as cultural differences since you say it's not sexism.

 

[VillageIdiot]

I relate to this so much that I'm finna rant too

Spoiler

I spent my high school years with my aunt, her daughter and grandson (few years older than me)
I always had to help but he was useless. I'd get guilt tripped or "you don't live here" or "he plays sports" (I had my own activities but was never exempt)
Grocery shopping? I always had to do it even if he was the one driving me there. Then had the nerve to bitch at me for how long I took.
Taking care of his mother and grandmother? My job. If they ever asked him for anything, even heat up a can of soup, he would literally wake me up and make me do it. If I didn't feel like doing something, he'd willingly them then, sick & old, do it until I caved in.

Whenever I complained to anyone, I was always belittled and it would turn into these huge fights with the whole house and I would cry ( that's just what I do when I'm stressed or angry because I'm never really allowed to speak up for myself or not be okay with something) and they'd use that to say I was being irrational.

One time I got kicked out of my own room so that his friend could stay there without my permission. I was the one everyone screamed at because I was exhausted from having to sleep in a chair.

A lot of internalized sexism. And manipulation. And toxicity.

I try to limit my contact with them and avoid visiting

I wish karma was a thing. Life is working itself out effortlessly in his favor but my life still fucking sucks

 

[maruberry]

I did say "it sounds like" since I don't know your family n I don't know why else your mother would ask you you to make salad n other things. I'll just take it as cultural differences since you say it's not sexism.

This has more to do with my bother just being lazy and having been good at saying no for a long time.

My oldest brother is nothing like that, or the situations with him.

 

[LoveYooShaSha]

This has more to do with my bother just being lazy and having been good at saying no for a long time.

My oldest brother is nothing like that, or the situations with him.

Oh I'm sorry for assuming n misunderstanding.

I relate to this so much that I'm finna rant too

Spoiler

I spent my high school years with my aunt, her daughter and grandson (few years older than me)
I always had to help but he was useless. I'd get guilt tripped or "you don't live here" or "he plays sports" (I had my own activities but was never exempt)
Grocery shopping? I always had to do it even if he was the one driving me there. Then had the nerve to bitch at me for how long I took.
Taking care of his mother and grandmother? My job. If they ever asked him for anything, even heat up a can of soup, he would literally wake me up and make me do it. If I didn't feel like doing something, he'd willingly them then, sick & old, do it until I caved in.

Whenever I complained to anyone, I was always belittled and it would turn into these huge fights with the whole house and I would cry ( that's just what I do when I'm stressed or angry because I'm never really allowed to speak up for myself or not be okay with something) and they'd use that to say I was being irrational.

One time I got kicked out of my own room so that his friend could stay there without my permission. I was the one everyone screamed at because I was exhausted from having to sleep in a chair.

A lot of internalized sexism. And manipulation. And toxicity.

I try to limit my contact with them and avoid visiting

I wish karma was a thing. Life is working itself out effortlessly in his favor but my life still fucking sucks

Sorry u had to go through tat n hope u never hv to deal w/them now or in the future.