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Thoughts why....... (1 Viewer)

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Mew

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do you desire anything from life?
Not particular but my main goal is to achieve stability. Having just enough to feed my family and just live a quiet simple life.
Im heading in that direction however its difficult when certain things are out of my control.
I think because I've experienced alot in life at a young age that alot of things don't surprisee and I just take them as they are and just work through them.. Kinda like being at the end of your life being old and just chilling there til death comes to claim you sort of thing..i have an old lady mentality like that for the most part.
I have enjoyment in certain things but they're not a consistent feeling quite fleeting actually, but nothing really creates a burning desire so I function rather systematically void of emotion which works effectively... But it nice to feel passion For something continously instead of short bursts and then nothingness.
 
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kodoku

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I don't feel like purposely dying is an option since the thought of causing the people around me pain is unbearable to me. On a brighter note, another reason would be that somewhere in my heart, some kind of foolish hope still exists
 

la_mort_pour_vous

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I've had different answers for this at different points in my life.
For the majority of my life, I believed that life was for learning. To gain knowledge. That's why I was so involved with everything, picking up little details from everything I could.
For me, it was a journey (and still sort of remains) towards self-discovery. My mind is a complex entity of its own. It is the driving force towards knowing its very self.
Each day I wanted to advance. One of my AKP statuses even said, "A fractional step forward everyday." It was basically the interest in moving ahead in terms of knowledge.
Each day we learn new things. We never really stop learning that way.
I think I've grown more "stagnant" recently because my rabbit sense to move forward has dulled, I feel. That's a subjective view and a really relative quantity.
However, my answer is simple now. I live for my friends, those who actually care for me and wsh that I'm happy. As all human desires, it's selfish, but that makes it very human.
Without my friends, I wouldn't be alive now. I would have no will to live. They are the driving force that keeps me running.
To work towards making them happy is my goal. And they only want me to prosper in life. So it's a symbiotic relationship.
 

igloo

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per a personal request i'll try and give my own reason as to why i live
i would say i live for my desire still
i could say i live for the happiness of others, and part of my desires includes their happiness
but i can't control their happiness
even those i care for and about
so i really can't live for that
i live for my desire
as to what that is
right now all i can really say is being with the person i love romantically
just entwining with her is my desire
so i live for that
and for her love for me
all my daydreams throughout my life
all my passions
i've really no way to achieve them to the extent i desire
most of my daydreams have been in defiance of this reality anyway
so those are out the window
even the dreams i've had for myself
to say those would really satisfy me
would be to lie to myself
so i live for my desire
mind you if i were to die i'd need a reason to die too
and that it would make others sad if i die is a reason not to die
however for me it's not always a reason to live
because until relatively recently
outside of my family there really wasn't anyone that close who'd care
and at that point it'd just be a matter of whims as to whether i feel like dying or that they don't care and all it takes is that to end it
so i don't find it to be a reason to live really
just not a reason to die
maybe i don't make much sense
but
that's just my thoughts
 

Lucky

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I don't want to live but I feel I should because if I help someone then that's enough for me. I guess I live through others finding security and happiness in their life even if I just do not care for mine.
 

ikonicraja

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to be there for the ones in need and to continue for the people I love
 

Wingfrost

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I was an accident so I really wasn’t even supposed to exist...
But because I don’t want to make others around me sad if I die.
 

Christina_alt2

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Because it's everyday :no: :yes::yes:
 

ABIGAIL_WILLIAMS

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I don't live. I am constantly stretched between death and the living. Like a trapped vessel.
 

Christina_alt2

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Spooky

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I just don't want to cause the people I love the pain that would come with me suddenly departing. Other than that, there's not really much else that holds me here.
 

Bina

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I always say "the only reason I've ever had and have is because my family won't be able to carry on and be happy without me, especially if I decided to die on my own terms" but how do I know if that's true? One day, my parents might/could go before me, my sisters will grow up and go their own paths in life. I might have the chance to leave without worries one day, when we're all a bit older. Will they really not be able to carry on without seeing me around? Am I that important?

So, I think I'm living in a big pause moment, like in a studio ghibli film, where the protagonist goes on a trip away from their family to live in a pretty little village with distant relatives, and along the way they find the beauty in life, themselves and reasons to live that don't involve loved ones. But it's all in my mind obviously, even though I sometimes wish I had the means to get away from everything that makes me, me. Or I wish I could give my life to someone who lives in a less fortunate life, like here, take my place. I'm sure you'll be happier and more grateful, living as me.

If someone asks me what I'm looking for in this lifetime, I'll answer that I don't know and that I'm stuck. That I sometimes think it's inevitable I'll go down the path that I want, even if that path means disappearing. Every reason I have to live doesn't involve me at all, I hate myself. Welp, it is what it is. ~
 

NASA

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Honestly just seeing how it goes tbh. Even if i'm feeling really down there's no point in ending it all, just gonna wait it out and see when and how it gets better, if i'm feeling really happy then it could always be better still.
 

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