- Joined
- 24 February 2019
- Messages
- 1,009
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- Location
- SHINee Academy
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- Gender
- Female
I hate it when people compliment my body. And it's become so clear to me that if I didn't have a curvy body (even though I'm more shaped like a pear) no one would look my way. I've noticed that whenever my friends compliment me it's always because of my butt. Never my face or even my personality. I've been sexualized since a very young age. In school I was made FUN OF because of my butt and was constantly met with the gaze of creepy older men. I've been catcalled more times than I can count, and the only two times that boys bothered to approach me was because I was "thick". Looking back on it now I've been sexually assaulted by both boys and girls and one boy went so far as to sexually harass me everyday to the point where I felt so uncomfortable I changed classes. I've grown to hate when people compliment my body. It makes me feel like the only attractive thing about me is my butt. Yeah sure, in some classes I'm labeled the "smart kid"- yet all that got me was people using me. I honestly feel fucking worthless. Just some toy for people to gawk at or play around with and treat like shit.
And I bet my life that if I had no ass or tits half of this shit wouldn't have happened to me. I've become so paranoid and scared. I want to find love someday but I'm so afraid that the only thing that brought that person to me was my body and not my personality or face. And the worst part is that people think those compliments are something I should be proud of or feel beautiful about, but it isn't. I just feel like some damn sex doll.
And I bet my life that if I had no ass or tits half of this shit wouldn't have happened to me. I've become so paranoid and scared. I want to find love someday but I'm so afraid that the only thing that brought that person to me was my body and not my personality or face. And the worst part is that people think those compliments are something I should be proud of or feel beautiful about, but it isn't. I just feel like some damn sex doll.