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Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (3 Viewers)

potato

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It's getting really bad. Last night, I was thinking of ways to kill myself. I was planning it out, how I would tell everyone, my last goodbyes and the method. I'm not stable and I know it. Everything is an absolute blur and I feel so helpless. I don't know what happening to me.

Someone help me. Please.
 
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I need help. But I don't know who to tell.
It's getting really bad. Last night, I was thinking of ways to kill myself. I was planning it out, how I would tell everyone, my last goodbyes and the method. I'm not stable and I know it. Everything is an absolute blur and I feel so helpless. I don't know what happening to me.

Someone help me. Please.
awh my poor hun *hugs tight* you really should tell someone, there must be someone.. even if your mom won't understand you well, maybe you could try just saying you're not well and asking her to see a doctor. I don't want you to endure this anymore.. TT <333
 

potato

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awh my poor hun *hugs tight* you really should tell someone, there must be someone.. even if your mom won't understand you well, maybe you could try just saying you're not well and asking her to see a doctor. I don't want you to endure this anymore.. TT <333
thank you koku :nekolove:

I think I just need to find the right person to tell. I'm not legally allowed to go to the doctors without them notifying my parents but I should be able to in a few months. Hopefully, I can figure something out then.
 
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thank you koku :nekolove:

I think I just need to find the right person to tell. I'm not legally allowed to go to the doctors without them notifying my parents but I should be able to in a few months. Hopefully, I can figure something out then.
that's good at least... just know you can always talk to me <3
 
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Hey guys... I really don't know what to do. And this is the only place I could talk about this.... I quit my job about 4 months ago... And now I am jobless... Some of u might know I have bipolar... I couldn't keep up... There are days where I will be 7 days on a row ill and tired and irritated... And just sick and all day on my bed with very negative racing thoughts..... My abusive mom told me to come home instead of being homeless on the streets.... And she keeps ranting how I should find a job... I haven't told her about my condition she is very ignorant and she will just think I am crazy and might kick me out of the house if I told her... Now my boss told me it's OK I could comeback to work if I want but I really feel ill and just feel very suicidal and sick of everything feels pointless at this point.... Medications don't work for me and causes horrible side effects.... I really don't think I could keep on anymore.. This sickness is taking a tool on my life and i just want to escape it....
 
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Hey guys... I really don't know what to do. And this is the only place I could talk about this.... I quit my job about 4 months ago... And now I am jobless... Some of u might know I have bipolar... I couldn't keep up... There are days where I will be 7 days on a row ill and tired and irritated... And just sick and all day on my bed with very negative racing thoughts..... My abusive mom told me to come home instead of being homeless on the streets.... And she keeps ranting how I should find a job... I haven't told her about my condition she is very ignorant and she will just think I am crazy and might kick me out of the house if I told her... Now my boss told me it's OK I could comeback to work if I want but I really feel ill and just feel very suicidal and sick of everything feels pointless at this point.... Medications don't work for me and causes horrible side effects.... I really don't think I could keep on anymore.. This sickness is taking a tool on my life and i just want to escape it....
that's really awful, I'm so sorry. I can only imagine how hard things must be for you right now... such a difficult situation.. but I really think you should seek help. If the meds aren't working maybe you can try others (it took me a long time to find ones that suit me too). There must be some numbers or places you can go to get help too (I hope).. I hope there is someone you can lean on to support you though this too... maybe try educating yourself as well, it might be helpful to read some books/watch some vids.. I'm sorry if this was useless, I truly hope for the best and please know you can always talk to us here....
 

potato

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I'm glad you're doing better now. Those suicidal thoughts might come back again sometimes but as least they're not as frequent as they used to be and it's a sign that you're getting better. Sometimes, I feel like it's okay to let those sort of thoughts wash over us. It sort of helps to let it all out in the moment rather than keep it in and struggle for a long time. Keep fighting vik <3
 
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I'm happy that you're doing better now :) not wanting to hurt the people who love you, that's a great reason and a strong one too. Maybe you could talk to someone about this, it might help? But it sounds that even like this, you're doing well. Stay strong <3
 
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You most likely didn't have bad intentions. But. If you're laughing at someone, belittling the way they feel about themselves, telling someone that they have no good reason to feel the way they feel, you don't understand not only how depression works, but me as a person. You literally said that outright to me. "Because you don't have a good reason." You might argue that you do understand depression, perhaps you do, but you don't understand mine. It's good that you don't care to notice, otherwise you would've seen I don't talk to you about how I feel anymore and I treat you more like an acquaintance now rather than a close friend. It's not that I'm holding a grudge, I just recall how hurt I felt at that time. I understand that with a person like me, there isn't much you can do to help and it's difficult to figure out what to say. My frustration is directed toward myself, who can't seem to release the hope that another soul might understand mine. When I meet my own eyes, I don't know what I can say or do to make it better either. I can be simply walking home thinking to myself, why do people get sad when people die? Is it really so bad to leave this world? Is existing precious? I contemplate on these topics even if I'm not feeling particularly bad. And when I do feel bad, the thoughts, emotions and questions I have are something else entirely. So, this is why I told you talking to people doesn't help me. Because I'm not searching to be told simply not to feel the way I do or get how I feel laughed off when it's not funny, and I can't show how desperate I am, because I already feel stupid when I shouldn't, this is simply just how I feel.

I don't know why I'm thinking of this now, but I just had to get it off my chest.
 
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I'm a little early but why not....... wishing everyone a happier, or at least more peaceful year than the previous one....... <3
 

potato

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You most likely didn't have bad intentions. But. If you're laughing at someone, belittling the way they feel about themselves, telling someone that they have no good reason to feel the way they feel, you don't understand not only how depression works, but me as a person. You literally said that outright to me. "Because you don't have a good reason." You might argue that you do understand depression, perhaps you do, but you don't understand mine. It's good that you don't care to notice, otherwise you would've seen I don't talk to you about how I feel anymore and I treat you more like an acquaintance now rather than a close friend. It's not that I'm holding a grudge, I just recall how hurt I felt at that time. I understand that with a person like me, there isn't much you can do to help and it's difficult to figure out what to say. My frustration is directed toward myself, who can't seem to release the hope that another soul might understand mine. When I meet my own eyes, I don't know what I can say or do to make it better either. I can be simply walking home thinking to myself, why do people get sad when people die? Is it really so bad to leave this world? Is existing precious? I contemplate on these topics even if I'm not feeling particularly bad. And when I do feel bad, the thoughts, emotions and questions I have are something else entirely. So, this is why I told you talking to people doesn't help me. Because I'm not searching to be told simply not to feel the way I do or get how I feel laughed off when it's not funny, and I can't show how desperate I am, because I already feel stupid when I shouldn't, this is simply just how I feel.

I don't know why I'm thinking of this now, but I just had to get it off my chest.
I can't believe people have the audacity to say such things. It's so hurtful.

I find myself thinking the same thoughts as you sometimes. Is death really a scary thing? Should I accept it or am I made to fear it because of society. Do I fear death? Is it something that scares me? It used to, I used to hate thinking about it. Now, it's sort of something I've come to accept, something that doesn't look so far away and indistinguishable anymore. When I think about these sort of things, it's fine until I'm feeling unstable and my thoughts spiral into darkness. Don't worry, you're the only one that feels these things. You're not alone.
You're not alone and there will always be people who will listen to you. No matter what anyone else says. I'm here to listen too. Depression is overlooked in so many ways by people but it's very very real. I hope things get better for you <3
 

potato

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I'm a little early but why not....... wishing everyone a happier, or at least more peaceful year than the previous one....... <3
Wishing you a very happy new year too koku. I hope it's a lot more peaceful too <3
 
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Perhaps we would all be happier if we lived the way you have. A small town, a tightly-knit community, a strong emphasis on family, a literal mountain to inspire you outside your window, a barn owl landing outside your room as you play your harmonica like something out of a Disney movie, valleys, and meadows, and lakes... A place to safely play in, to go to school in, to work in, to raise a family in... Where the most stressful and biggest family issue is struggling to figure out what to buy everyone for Christmas, and the biggest issue of living there is simply feeling a tad isolated from the rest of the world (trust me, the grass is definitely not greener)... I don't know. Psychologically, I can see how a place like that can make people more docile and kind. And, I dunno, how nice for you, I guess... I sometimes wonder if you know how lucky you are. Then again, you're just a character in a book, and the author was probably thinking the same thing when she created you... Maybe she and I should have a drink together.
aw bestie boo,, have I told you how beautiful your mind is today? :pepeheart:
 

potato

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My anxiety never stops growing.
:c I know how it feels. I'm always here if you need anything <3

Perhaps we would all be happier if we lived the way you have. A small town, a tightly-knit community, a strong emphasis on family, a literal mountain to inspire you outside your window, a barn owl landing outside your room as you play your harmonica like something out of a Disney movie, valleys, and meadows, and lakes... A place to safely play in, to go to school in, to work in, to raise a family in... Where the most stressful and biggest family issue is struggling to figure out what to buy everyone for Christmas, and the biggest issue of living there is simply feeling a tad isolated from the rest of the world (trust me, the grass is definitely not greener)... I don't know. Psychologically, I can see how a place like that can make people more docile and kind. And, I dunno, how nice for you, I guess... I sometimes wonder if you know how lucky you are. Then again, you're just a character in a book, and the author was probably thinking the same thing when she created you... Maybe she and I should have a drink together.
What is the name of the book? I would really like to know it ^^

That's the sort of life I've always been dreaming of. Somewhere unattached from the rest of the world. But then I ask myself, do I really want that? Am I willing to sacrifice the materilaistic pleasures of living in the city to be in a freer and my relaxed society? Tbh, the truth is not really. It must be a lot better for me in the long run but the city life isn't something I'm really willing to give up just yet. But I envy people like that, people who can isolate themselves in order to live in a happier and safer place. I hope in the future, when I'm older and settled, I can move to a place like that. A place full of green (lots and lots of green), surrounded by the fresh air and the sound of children's laughter. It sounds beautiful.
 

potato

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I hate that where you live decides so much of what you can and cannot do in life. I hate that countries are run by absolutely corrupt individuals who are too prideful and stubborn to work together for good. I hate that some people grow up in environments and around people that are so horrible that they grow up to become evil themselves. I hate it when all three of these things converge and conspire to ruin your life. Why can't all countries be havens of peace and tolerance. Why can't we all live to a higher standard. Why must there be war and prejudice and hate. Why must their be fear and no-win scenarios.

Instead, Person A lives in a country where even just saying you have a mental disability can get you almost instantly fired, while Person B lives in a country that takes good care of its mentally-disabled workers. Person C lives in a country whose president just declared war in order to distract everyone from his own nonsense and keep himself in office another term, while Person D lives in another country, and is good friends with Person C, but oh, oops, sorry, they can't chat on Discord anymore because hackers just sabotaged the power grid and now Person C is without internet.

*sighs and replays that one video with a dog chilling in a hammock to restore my sanity*
*sighs* life sucks like that. Countries are run by people who only think about themselves, not for the country and the ending result is absolute disaster. We're in the midst of nuclear weapons, threats of a war, many wars already happening and corruption so deeply rooted in society, it's impossible to break free from it. Sometimes, it's up to the people to make themselves a little happier. Our futures can look bleak but at least we have each other. We can learn to stick together, the same way I will stick with you <3
 

gongchan

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I hate New Years. It's just like a reminder of how time has passed. It makes me think even more of all of the worst times of my past and how much I've had to leave behind. It makes me think of so many people I've lost and every person I've disappointed. I can never move forward when every year this time comes around to remind me of all of the things I don't want to recall. It reminds me now of how it's literally almost been a year since my best friend died. So much has occurred and will occur in the future and I hate it. It's like a horrible loop. I hate change and the future coming but I also hate thinking about certain moments in my past. These past 2, almost 3 years now, have brought the most change in my life and the most pain. I don't know what is holding me here anymore. I fail at everything I do and every attempt to fix the bad things about myself end in more failure. I try so hard to be happy and move on from my past, but it's almost too difficult. I know there are things to live for in my life but they don't even seem to mean anything anymore. I can't forget about it all for even a second. The scars ever present all over me don't help that either. I guess I should just take a break from everything, maybe if I could just sleep I could feel better. I'm just so exhausted... ugh
 
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