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Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (10 Viewers)

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Today has been probably one of the worst of my life (I'm probably sounding dramatic) lol its 3am I got work in 3 hours and can't sleep I want to do something drastic and no not to myself not like that to someone else.

I dont want to go to work honestly, I cant be bothered. (Which ain't like me lol) I'll get over myself. Anyway. I just hope nobody bothers me today. Is going to be a long day.

At least these beats in my earphone give me some sort of distraction thank God my job lets me listen to music.
I don't wanna bother you either, just gonna say hopefully you feel better soon..
 
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I don't wanna bother you either, just gonna say hopefully you feel better soon..
You could never bother me *cute nickname that I will come up with*

And thanks, hope you do too.
 

lexus

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I don't know why, but I've felt super depressed for the passed week or so. Of course I felt depressed beforehand, but it's just hitting me really hard for some reason. I brought up to my therapist, and even my mom, that I've been feeling empty. I just feel like there's a void I need to fill, but I don't know how to fill it. One minute I'm fine and then the next minute I start dwelling on my thoughts and I feel awful. I'm just feeling lonely, empty, and anxious about the future. I don't like being left alone all the time anymore. I just want to make friends who are my age or to be close to someone, not constantly be alone. After so many years of not having friends and no other close relationships, it's starting to take a toll on me. I guess I'm somewhat close to my mom, but nowhere where we used to be. I've expressed this to my mom, but she doesn't really say much about it and sometimes she doesn't think much of it. I'm hoping that she'll go with he to see my psychiatrist this week. The only thing is, I don't want to take a whole new medication again. I'm already on four of them and I don't want a fifth one.
I've also noticed that I've been incredibly bored with almost everything. Almost nothing sounds fun to do. I used to enjoy going for walks every night, but it's gotten to where I sometimes just don't want to do it. Sometimes I just have to force myself to go outside and do it. I've tried crafting again and I'm just getting bored of it already. No matter what I try to do, I get so bored and feel so uninterested. I either just sit on my laptop or I just lay in bed for who knows how long. I just feel like I'm wasting the days away. I'm trying to take my therapist's advice trying to do things that'll make me feel happy and doing things that make me feel like I accomplished something. It's just hard to get myself do any of it. I hate this much. I just want it to stop.
 
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I don't know why, but I've felt super depressed for the passed week or so. Of course I felt depressed beforehand, but it's just hitting me really hard for some reason. I brought up to my therapist, and even my mom, that I've been feeling empty. I just feel like there's a void I need to fill, but I don't know how to fill it. One minute I'm fine and then the next minute I start dwelling on my thoughts and I feel awful. I'm just feeling lonely, empty, and anxious about the future. I don't like being left alone all the time anymore. I just want to make friends who are my age or to be close to someone, not constantly be alone. After so many years of not having friends and no other close relationships, it's starting to take a toll on me. I guess I'm somewhat close to my mom, but nowhere where we used to be. I've expressed this to my mom, but she doesn't really say much about it and sometimes she doesn't think much of it. I'm hoping that she'll go with he to see my psychiatrist this week. The only thing is, I don't want to take a whole new medication again. I'm already on four of them and I don't want a fifth one.
I've also noticed that I've been incredibly bored with almost everything. Almost nothing sounds fun to do. I used to enjoy going for walks every night, but it's gotten to where I sometimes just don't want to do it. Sometimes I just have to force myself to go outside and do it. I've tried crafting again and I'm just getting bored of it already. No matter what I try to do, I get so bored and feel so uninterested. I either just sit on my laptop or I just lay in bed for who knows how long. I just feel like I'm wasting the days away. I'm trying to take my therapist's advice trying to do things that'll make me feel happy and doing things that make me feel like I accomplished something. It's just hard to get myself do any of it. I hate this much. I just want it to stop.
That's very relatable... I think some good things you could do are write your mom an honest letter, she might take you more seriously that way because it seems she doesn't realize how you feel right now, and also start a new hobby. It sounds cheesy but it really does freshen up your life. It might not work right away, so keep trying and know you can always talk to me, good luck <3
 

lexus

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That's very relatable... I think some good things you could do are write your mom an honest letter, she might take you more seriously that way because it seems she doesn't realize how you feel right now, and also start a new hobby. It sounds cheesy but it really does freshen up your life. It might not work right away, so keep trying and know you can always talk to me, good luck <3
Thank you so much. ❤
Luckily my mom was bit more comforting to me yesterday when I got upset. I got her to agree to going to the psychiatrist with me tomorrow. Hopefully things will go well. ❤
 
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Thank you so much. ❤
Luckily my mom was bit more comforting to me yesterday when I got upset. I got her to agree to going to the psychiatrist with me tomorrow. Hopefully things will go well. ❤
Aw I'm so glad to hear that, let me know how it went <3
 
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I love my friends but I'm starting to get annoyed with them. I feel guilty about it since they did nothing wrong
I think that's okay as long as you aren't rude to them. It's okay to ask for a bit of time and space, I'm sure they'll understand
 
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What do you do when you agonize over whether to publish a certain poem or not online, because the subject is really important to you but you're unsure how your friends will react, so you finally post it, then are an anxious wreck afterwards, and when you finally work up the courage to go and check on the poem, you find out pretty much all of your friends dismissed it? And I know they could just be busy, but from other activity, I also know they were all active at various points while I was away, even checking out my other poems. I feel so gutted. But lost most of all. Like, what do I do with myself now? ._.
honestly people probably didnt even read it, dont be offended usually when people show self created things people in general dont tend to look into it. although it was personal to you they probably just saw it as like one of those common online quotes.

if you want you can share it with me, I love poetry to and I can give some feedback if you like, dont take it to heart they probably didnt even read it.
 
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What do you do when you agonize over whether to publish a certain poem or not online, because the subject is really important to you but you're unsure how your friends will react, so you finally post it, then are an anxious wreck afterwards, and when you finally work up the courage to go and check on the poem, you find out pretty much all of your friends dismissed it? And I know they could just be busy, but from other activity, I also know they were all active at various points while I was away, even checking out my other poems. I feel so gutted. But lost most of all. Like, what do I do with myself now? ._.
aw don't worry too much cutie, it's really no big deal. You shared a poem, especially that kind of poem and that's brave. Whether others react to it and how they do it is not in your hands, so try not to worry too much <3
 
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"Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everyone else. Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it."

I don't know if it's weird that this quote makes me feel better because of how bad it makes me feel for how I feel. It's just better than being told what I feel and think is important, it's not until something like that happens and this makes me feel bad enough to stray away from allowing myself to dwell on that. I want to see how far I can go in my life, despite being like this. Nothing I feel ever makes sense to be put in words anyway, and all people see in me is this hardworking girl who is understandably a bit cold and quiet at times but otherwise, someone who looks perfectly well. Not one person in my life sees me for who I really am even if I shout it, why don't I see that as a positive thing that I'm respected or considered good? It's hard to when you don't even feel like a person, and your mind is an empty room with enough glass shards to consider not going in at all. You don't feel put together at all, but you're pretty good at acting like it so why give up now? To only cause pain to others, you already went through pain on your own and you're capable of dealing with this. That's how this quote makes me feel for some reason. I like that it's challenging, rather than comforting.
 
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"Taking your own life. Interesting expression, taking it from who? Once it's over, it's not you who'll miss it. Your own death is something that happens to everyone else. Your life is not your own, keep your hands off it."

I don't know if it's weird that this quote makes me feel better because of how bad it makes me feel for how I feel. It's just better than being told what I feel and think is important, it's not until something like that happens and this makes me feel bad enough to stray away from allowing myself to dwell on that. I want to see how far I can go in my life, despite being like this. Nothing I feel ever makes sense to be put in words anyway, and all people see in me is this hardworking girl who is understandably a bit cold and quiet at times but otherwise, someone who looks perfectly well. Not one person in my life sees me for who I really am even if I shout it, why don't I see that as a positive thing that I'm respected or considered good? It's hard to when you don't even feel like a person, and your mind is an empty room with enough glass shards to consider not going in at all. You don't feel put together at all, but you're pretty good at acting like it so why give up now? To only cause pain to others, you already went through pain on your own and you're capable of dealing with this. That's how this quote makes me feel for some reason. I like that it's challenging, rather than comforting.
Very interesting quote. It's something I've thought about a lot as well. I don't think you should feel bad about not considering being seen as someone who is well a good thing. It's perfectly natural and normal to need someone to see you as you see yourself, at least at times because we all want to know that someone would accept and love us even then
 
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You're right, they probably didn't, but thankfully I'm feeling better about it now :) Thank you *hugs*

It's actually kind of bleak, haha, but if that's okay with you I definitely wouldn't mind sharing it c: I truly appreciate the offer. And I could definitely use the feedback.



Thank youu *hugs* You're soo right... I just need to be stronger and more rational about it in the future c:
Pm me <3
 
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I'm definitely feeling better about my artistic situation now... Something else happened recently, completely unrelated and really no big deal, but the point is that I could've easily made it into a big deal, but I didn't. At the end of the day, everything I write is my baby, and no parent wants their baby to be ignored at the local talent show, so to speak, but we just have to accept not everyone will care, and that's okay. It's the ones who do that matter, including us. And those people are precious and worth holding onto <3 Thanks, you guys :)
i keep seeing similarities between us hehe.. I'm glad you're feeling better, stay like this <3
 
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Stopping by to tell everyone that they're loved :pandalove:
Have a wonderful day <3
 
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I MISS YOU!!!!! seriously I thought about you the other day, hope we can catch up soon.. <3
Awww I'm so touched :pandalove:
I hope so too!! I'm always on discord haha, I'll make sure to shoot you a message too.
I hope everything is going well for you : DDDDD
 
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I just kinda wanted to update anyone who seen mine before.

I am ashamed to say I do have some weaknesses these days, they are not the same as others I dont experience it as bad as others, so I'm in no place to complain, however sometimes I just really want to just do something stupid, at this time I still want to but I wont. I really am not happy with myself not even 1% truly I'm ashamed to be alive in this body, but at this moment I'm in a way better mood, as my energy improves everything improves, I wont do nothing I will just keep progressing, rather than going backwards.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone, but yeah, I just would rather use my frustration as a fire to fuel myself, my hatred for life I can turn that into a rage of energy, and hopefully burn all in my path.
 
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I just kinda wanted to update anyone who seen mine before.

I am ashamed to say I do have some weaknesses these days, they are not the same as others I dont experience it as bad as others, so I'm in no place to complain, however sometimes I just really want to just do something stupid, at this time I still want to but I wont. I really am not happy with myself not even 1% truly I'm ashamed to be alive in this body, but at this moment I'm in a way better mood, as my energy improves everything improves, I wont do nothing I will just keep progressing, rather than going backwards.

I'm not sure if any of this makes sense to anyone, but yeah, I just would rather use my frustration as a fire to fuel myself, my hatred for life I can turn that into a rage of energy, and hopefully burn all in my path.
Keep moving forward. I'm trying my best to do the same, in the end, it's all we can do...
 
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i feel nervous

because..i distanced myself from family, and i finally got out of an isolated state. you know i did not know how to hold basic conversation until highschool?...actually not fully true. when i was little up until about age 6 i was very social...but then we got isolated, and i lost this. like literally, the only way i knew to keep talking in my first year of highschool was direct question and answer format... I hadn't experienced any interaction and the one thing you always know will get a response is a question.. so thats all i did. and when you first get to meet someone thats okay....but you cannot maintain that for more than a few meet ups before its tiring or completely exhausted. even now, though I have more interests and more experiences and more things to talk about, i still have such a narrow experience database.....that I find myself worrying about how much more stuff i have left to say before the conversation awkwardly stops. I have taken up the habit of mimicking people too because the best way to distract from a lack of substance is to copy. I'm a good chameleon in this way.

As i learn how to renavigate basic social norms, i find more opportunities to become available to me, I have more options. but the thing is while im getting better, while i've finally gained confidence, learned who i am what i think and feel about the world. i know im not nearly as well rounded or developed as most of my peers...and that there's so many areas i dont even know im weak in until, one day in that job interveiw or that work scenario it will be opened up and it will be something so basic, but completely foreign to me and I will mess it up. Thats my greatest fear right now. I've gained a lot of confidence and grown so much, but knowing that i will have difficulty in holding down jobs or even in my education right now, i feel like there's some basic things, that i learned, but because of personal life stress i could not retain. Im afraid of not passing my education, or losing a job, because i know so little still about most adult things. I know how to take care of myself, but how taxes or any legal more formal stuff i have had zero experience and dont know anyone (close enough) to me who does to ask.
That sounds a lot like me, you're not alone in this. I really understand it's a big issue when you're the one it's happening to... but just try to put yourself out there more, ask more questions, gain more experience... even if we're not at the same spot as others, hopefully we can someday catch up <3
 

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