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Official ✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (3 Viewers)

gongchan

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My best friend is now officially gone. Tyler...he left everything. I can’t fucking breathe. This was all so sudden. He’s gone and I can’t see him ever again. How could he die like this. I just want to go back. I can’t feel at peace. He was so damn strong but I can’t be for him...I don’t wanna be here anymore. I fucking hate this world. It shouldn’t be like this
 

Koala

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My best friend is now officially gone. Tyler...he left everything. I can’t fucking breathe. This was all so sudden. He’s gone and I can’t see him ever again. How could he die like this. I just want to go back. I can’t feel at peace. He was so damn strong but I can’t be for him...I don’t wanna be here anymore. I fucking hate this world. It shouldn’t be like this
My words will never offer in this time,but I hope you will remain strong and remember the good times you’ve had with him. If you need to. Please take time for yourself to just mourn. We’ll be here for you. He adored you very much. Stay strong small flower. The world is a cruel place. But please focus on healing and remembering the good youve had
 

gongchan

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It all feels empty. My days just feel blank. I was already in a bad place and now its even worse. Suicidal thoughts are back again. I sat in my room all day today. I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I was excited for spring break some time ago but now its like a curse, I don't have any reason to get out of bed or do anything. I haven't ate anything in over 24 hours, my insomnia is as bad as ever. I want to leave. I don't want to be on this earth anymore.
 

Sory

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It all feels empty. My days just feel blank. I was already in a bad place and now its even worse. Suicidal thoughts are back again. I sat in my room all day today. I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I was excited for spring break some time ago but now its like a curse, I don't have any reason to get out of bed or do anything. I haven't ate anything in over 24 hours, my insomnia is as bad as ever. I want to leave. I don't want to be on this earth anymore.
Izz, please stay strong. You just got through a big loss. It will take awhile to get better. Give you time to grieve. Reach out to someone you can trust, familie or friends, or even someone here. Know that if you wanna talk, we’re here to listen. ,
 
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I've always been a heavier girl, and lately I've gone back up in weight by quite a lot, unfortunately.
While normally it doesn't bother me that much (it used to wreck my entire life, honestly, but in the past few years I've actually been a lot happier with myself physically) I apparently have been really fragile emotionally lately. I stepped on the scale because I knew I'd been gaining weight, I could feel the slight tightness in my clothes in certain areas and could see it in my face, being bloaty but.....

It still hurt me to step on the scale and feel I've let myself down.

I already started earlier this week trying to eat better, drink more water, eat less, and get in some slight exercise (starting slow and trying to build up; I hate, hate, hate exercise....but I want to come to enjoy it, I really do).

I know things take time but....I hate feeling so fat and gross, so much like I'm ugly because of the added weight (even though I keep trying to remind myself that I'm beautiful, and that even with added weight I'm still me and still beautiful) but I just. IDK.

I can't stop wanting to cry. I can't stop looking at the weight on my face in the mirror or feeling the pudge at my waistband pressing and making me feel just...horrible about myself. The way I put weight on is awkward too. It literally sits on my stomach and looks awkward like I'm pregnant - but I'm not. I'm just waiting for someone at work to say "oh, congratulations!"

Thanks. It's all the fat my body is storing like a camel preparing to make a trek across the Sahara.

I need a hug. A big, cuddly, warm one.
Awh I relate.. my appearance is one of the things I struggle with every day and among other things, I always want to lose weight and think I'm too big, but it's so hard... but look, in the end it's our health and hearts that matter and there's no such thing as loving someone for their looks because that's never love.. the people who love us will stay by our side because of who we are. So what if you gained some weight? You're only human and look at you, already working on getting in shape! Keep working on losing weight if that's what you think you should do, but also work on accpeting and loving yourself. It will take some time and effort, but you will get there. Stay strong and good luck <3



My best friend is now officially gone. Tyler...he left everything. I can’t fucking breathe. This was all so sudden. He’s gone and I can’t see him ever again. How could he die like this. I just want to go back. I can’t feel at peace. He was so damn strong but I can’t be for him...I don’t wanna be here anymore. I fucking hate this world. It shouldn’t be like this
It all feels empty. My days just feel blank. I was already in a bad place and now its even worse. Suicidal thoughts are back again. I sat in my room all day today. I couldn't bring myself to do anything. I was excited for spring break some time ago but now its like a curse, I don't have any reason to get out of bed or do anything. I haven't ate anything in over 24 hours, my insomnia is as bad as ever. I want to leave. I don't want to be on this earth anymore.
I'm so sorry for your loss :( but please try to stop for a second and breathe deeply, have something healthy to eat and drink some water, please.. call someone you trust and just let yourself hear someone's voice, at least.. I know nothing I say can make it better, but please try to take care of yourself during this hard time and know I'm here for you <3
 
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To have all these thoughts following me everywhere, they might just be meaningless thoughts now. I wonder what it would take for me to really jump. Take them. Do it. Is it a matter of time? I can't seem to grasp onto anything long enough to be normal, be okay, connect. I'm always left trying to understand like I do for just about anyone but myself. I'm someone trying to give each day my all. I never allow how I feel to be an excuse for anything. What's so wrong about me as a person? I don't think I can feel bad for the way I treated myself, it's difficult enough to even think this matters. I hate myself. I need someone to know this side of me and not be in my life. No one would believe how I feel because of how I seem. Or it's uncomfortable to say I'm sad when the reasons for it goes beyond what I can explain. Or it starts problems as it always does. I wish I was lying, and that I was actually happy. I'm used to feeling alone, despite being surrounded by people. I don't know why I'm hesitant about the sessions, I might not have the words. If I haven't been able to express even one tenth of what I think and feel so far, what makes me think I could do so just because it's going to be set out like this. I'll give it a try. What have I got to lose when I tried so much up to now, nothing except probably myself and that’d be okay if I didn’t feel so guilty thinking about the aftermath.

I never got to say how much I understand what it’s like to feel out of place in your own life, like an error that was never meant to be there, and now it’s too late because there is no one I know who is like me without you. They say you’re not yourself when you consider it, and then not in control when you actually do it. People apparently lead up to it without a choice in the matter, but when is anything anyone ever does something meant to happen? If it were that way, a lot of gaps would be filled by the people who left like that, and none of it would happen at all. The excuse of meant to be never makes sense to me, as many times as it’s explained. Meant to be is the way things are supposed to be, saying that people who think similarly were meant to be wiped out isn’t what I’d call ideal. Then eventually finding happiness is. It’s a mistake that people feel like mistakes or worse, and that ends up happening.
 

lexus

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No matter how hard I try, I’m going to be disappointed in myself no matter what. It’ll never be good enough for me. I don’t even know why.
 
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No matter how hard I try, I’m going to be disappointed in myself no matter what. It’ll never be good enough for me. I don’t even know why.
Whatever you’re doing, at least you’re trying your best. Think of all the people who love you and think about how they think of you. Don’t be disappointed in yourself!
And if you ever need help, just contact me. We are here for you.
 
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I’m not sure if this really belongs in the mental health thread or not, but’s it’s still kind of freaking me out. Last night I was trying to fall asleep and I noticed that it felt like I couldn’t move. I also kept hearing noses and it felt like something was trying to get me. It happened to me two times last night and I almost had to go get mom because it freaked me out so much. It felt like I was just paralyzed and couldn’t open my eyes or mouth for a few seconds. I’m almost scared of falling asleep tonight. I just hope it doesn’t happen again. I haven’t told my mom yet because I’m afraid of what she’ll think.
i get it from time to time too.
 
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i wish i had a nice family that cares about each other instead of this abuse.. i am always the only one who try to keep peace, so selfish of them.
i am so exhausted i just want this to end....
 

lexus

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Whatever you’re doing, at least you’re trying your best. Think of all the people who love you and think about how they think of you. Don’t be disappointed in yourself!
And if you ever need help, just contact me. We are here for you.
Thank you.
:pepeheart:
 
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i wish i had a nice family that cares about each other instead of this abuse.. i am always the only one who try to keep peace, so selfish of them.
i am so exhausted i just want this to end....
Sometimes it can be hard, but just remember you are doing all you can. If you need help, talk to someone-a therapist or someone you trust.
 
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@kddicted
I'm sorry these many unpleasant thoughts and feelings are always bothering you...all I can say is I'm always here for you and praying for your happiness <3

No matter how hard I try, I’m going to be disappointed in myself no matter what. It’ll never be good enough for me. I don’t even know why.
The good news is that's something you can work on, you can accept yourself someday and I believe you will. I hope you can realize that you're a wonderful person (I still don't know you well, but that's the impression I got hehe) <3

i wish i had a nice family that cares about each other instead of this abuse.. i am always the only one who try to keep peace, so selfish of them.
i am so exhausted i just want this to end....
That's awful, I'm sorry to hear it... I've been through it too and my advice is to take care of yourself and do what's right for you. Being related to someone doesn't make them family if they are repeatedly hurting you. I'm always here if you wanna talk, stay strong because one day you'll be free from this and there'll be a whole new world for you <3
 

lexus

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@kddicted
I'm sorry these many unpleasant thoughts and feelings are always bothering you...all I can say is I'm always here for you and praying for your happiness <3



The good news is that's something you can work on, you can accept yourself someday and I believe you will. I hope you can realize that you're a wonderful person (I still don't know you well, but that's the impression I got hehe) <3



That's awful, I'm sorry to hear it... I've been through it too and my advice is to take care of yourself and do what's right for you. Being related to someone doesn't make them family if they are repeatedly hurting you. I'm always here if you wanna talk, stay strong because one day you'll be free from this and there'll be a whole new world for you <3
Thank you!
:pepeheart:
 
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I miss her. I just really really miss her. I dont like this. I feel helpless, how do I win her back. Does she want to be won back even..

Im so lost and heartbroken, its horrible. I never felt like this before. What makes it worse idek how she is. If she is safe. That kills me not knowing.

Its been a while time doesnt help it I only miss her more she is cruel but i deserve it.. i wonder if she takes satisfaction knowing she left me in this state its her payback. Im crazy lol.
 
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i love Shinee to death they are one of the most early groups i got into .... now when i see them perform as 4 remembering Jonghyun and i know they are still sad about it... i am not enjoying it and i feel sad seeing them without him. :hmm:
 
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I miss her. I just really really miss her. I dont like this. I feel helpless, how do I win her back. Does she want to be won back even..

Im so lost and heartbroken, its horrible. I never felt like this before. What makes it worse idek how she is. If she is safe. That kills me not knowing.

Its been a while time doesnt help it I only miss her more she is cruel but i deserve it.. i wonder if she takes satisfaction knowing she left me in this state its her payback. Im crazy lol.
Idk what's going on but.. all I can say is time really does heal, this too shall pass..

i love Shinee to death they are one of the most early groups i got into .... now when i see them perform as 4 remembering Jonghyun and i know they are still sad about it... i am not enjoying it and i feel sad seeing them without him. :hmm:
it really is sad :( I hope you feel better about it soon..
 

Sory

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I wanna scream but I’m scared somebody will hear me. I wanna say what I really feel but I don’t wanna bores the people kind enough to talk to me. I’m scared. There’s a girl inside my head. She has my voice but I’m not really sure that she is me. I can’t control her. Am I going crazy? Everytime I’m alone she comes back to hunt me. There’s suddenly no words for me to take off my mind off of things, no bip from new notifications, new interactions . Just silence. It leaves her all the place she needs to torture me. Why does she hate me so much?

I can’t move. If I move I’ll get up. If I get up, I’ll hurt myself. I’ll listen to her. So I mustn’t move and stay quiet, maybe she’ll go to sleep before me. Maybe she will leave me alone for tonight. Don’t move, stay quiet. Don’t move. Stay quiet. I’m so scared. Why am I so scared. Don’t move.
 
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I wanna scream but I’m scared somebody will hear me. I wanna say what I really feel but I don’t wanna bores the people kind enough to talk to me. I’m scared. There’s a girl inside my head. She has my voice but I’m not really sure that she is me. I can’t control her. Am I going crazy? Everytime I’m alone she comes back to hunt me. There’s suddenly no words for me to take off my mind off of things, no bip from new notifications, new interactions . Just silence. It leaves her all the place she needs to torture me. Why does she hate me so much?

I can’t move. If I move I’ll get up. If I get up, I’ll hurt myself. I’ll listen to her. So I mustn’t move and stay quiet, maybe she’ll go to sleep before me. Maybe she will leave me alone for tonight. Don’t move, stay quiet. Don’t move. Stay quiet. I’m so scared. Why am I so scared. Don’t move.
hun what's going on? :( it's okay, breathe. You are safe and you will be okay. You're not alone because I'm here for you <333
 

Sory

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It’s like being in a hole. With people above you, stretching out their helping hands towards you. But what if I bring someone down with me? What if I’m too heavy and can’t be lifted? What if I try but than they change their mind and let go of my hand, making me fall back into my hole, deeper? I don’t want people to help me. It’s too scary. Burry me instead. It’s less effort. See, i digged the hole myself. I’m already there.

It’s one of those days again. Didn’t sleep well. Fell asleep crying, woke up crying. This life is exhausting. I’m so tired
 

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