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✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵

Icy68446

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I think my gastritis is coming back because of stress.

Why...why do you have to fucking put me through this shit? I fucking left to get away from this and now I'm trying not to fucking cry in the damn library. Why can't you just leave me and my friendships alone? I already had to leave so many people I care about behind because of this....paint me however you want, I'm not going to fight it anymore you know? I'm tired of defending myself.

Being upset because you got hurt is fine. You know???

It's fucking normal...but why???
What's wrong? Do you want to talk about it?
:pepehug1::pepehug1::pepehug1:
 

Miless

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back to school tomorrow. Aka the place I dread most.
Just thinking about it gives me a raging headache. I just want to be around my friends. The four people I actually trust..ha. That's unlikely. I don't have any classes with them.
Looks like i'm just stuck worrying until tomorrow.

Dance should also be fun. I only have shorts and my scars are still a deep purple or red. The white ones are ugly too.
I hate it when people stare..especially at the one that runs the length of my right leg.
It's embarrassing.

Screw this snowday because my guidance counselor had to reschedule our meeting
 

Icy68446

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back to school tomorrow. Aka the place I dread most.
Just thinking about it gives me a raging headache. I just want to be around my friends. The four people I actually trust..ha. That's unlikely. I don't have any classes with them.
Looks like i'm just stuck worrying until tomorrow.

Dance should also be fun. I only have shorts and my scars are still a deep purple or red. The white ones are ugly too.
I hate it when people stare..especially at the one that runs the length of my right leg.
It's embarrassing.

Screw this snowday because my guidance counselor had to reschedule our meeting
Have fun at dance! And good luck at school, you can do it c:
 

taemkitten

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back to school tomorrow. Aka the place I dread most.
Just thinking about it gives me a raging headache. I just want to be around my friends. The four people I actually trust..ha. That's unlikely. I don't have any classes with them.
Looks like i'm just stuck worrying until tomorrow.

Dance should also be fun. I only have shorts and my scars are still a deep purple or red. The white ones are ugly too.
I hate it when people stare..especially at the one that runs the length of my right leg.
It's embarrassing.

Screw this snowday because my guidance counselor had to reschedule our meeting

Hey, I know it is hard, but try to refocus your brain on the little things in your life while at school that dont make you anxious or dread being there. Perhaps it is the heat from the sun, or how a hint of light shines down on the crystalline sparkle of the melting snow. Maybe it is a distant bird chirping, or even the familiar scent of book pages. Maybe even something as simple as a fun and comforting tune bouncing through your thoughts (ring ding dong, ring ding ding, ring dinggi ding dinggi ring ding ding) that blocks out the negative and those around you.

Try to focus on you, the things that make you smile, the things that bring you happiness, no matter where you are. And if all else fails, go to the restroom in a stall.

Close your eyes, focus only on the darkness behind them, block everything out, and count to ten slowly while letting your fingers map every inch of your hands -the creases, the bumps, the dips and the curves, the fleshy skin, the tiny grooves, the lines that make you who you are.

Splash a bit of cold water to your face, take a deep breath, and smile.

Remember something very important: scars are what make you who you are. They tell your story, and they arent ugly. Perhaps they bring back a negative thought or see°m to be a reminder of something dark in your life - turn it around. Take back your skin, your body, your scars. They belong to you. They show how much of a fierce, strong fighter you are. They tell your story of triumph and not backing down, they show the world that you're not ready to give up. Hold your head high and wear those lines of beauty like the strength that they are. Scars are your armor.

I hope things get better for you. I'm slow at responding sometimes, but if you ever need to talk to someone you know I'll be here ♡
 

yves

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Does anyone here suffer from seasonal affective disorder? I have it and it's been really bad since the time change. I haven't left my house in the past three days and it's not like I don't have anything to do, I have classes I need to go to. I just feel like I have no energy whatsoever. It's so frustrating because I was doing so good through September and October. I try to reach out to my friends and family but if I reach out too much I feel like I'm bothering them. Ugh I hate this, I just needed to vent.
 

Icy68446

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Does anyone here suffer from seasonal affective disorder? I have it and it's been really bad since the time change. I haven't left my house in the past three days and it's not like I don't have anything to do, I have classes I need to go to. I just feel like I have no energy whatsoever. It's so frustrating because I was doing so good through September and October. I try to reach out to my friends and family but if I reach out too much I feel like I'm bothering them. Ugh I hate this, I just needed to vent.
I don't suffer from seasonal affective disorder but the cold, dark, and rainy days of winter make everything seem harder :c
Your friends and family care for you lots, you're not bothering them. If anything, they'll be happy you told them as they do want to know how you're doing~
 

lexusuwu

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If someone is sitting there bawling their eyes don't you dare tell them that they "have nothing to be upset over" and they "just need to calm down". If they're crying obviously they have a reason for why they're upset. Instead of being an idiot and saying that they shouldn't be upset, why don't you just try to comfort them? It won't kill you. By saying shit like that you're going to make them feel worse and make them feels like no one cares about them or how they feel. Don't be insensitive about it.
 
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yves

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I don't suffer from seasonal affective disorder but the cold, dark, and rainy days of winter make everything seem harder :c
Your friends and family care for you lots, you're not bothering them. If anything, they'll be happy you told them as they do want to know how you're doing~
Thanks :) Today was a little better, I left the house for the first time in 5 days. I will try to go to all my classes tomorrow
 

Lilac

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I guess the time is now for this cycle to repeat itself. How disgusting will my skin look once I began to punish myself again? These holidays just bring me a sense of dread and all it does is tangle into my depression. Emotions seem so hard for people. All I’ve seen them is hurt,-and I’m so jealous I can’t frel that warm bubbly feeling you get from being confessed to,the rising flare on someone’s cheeks from rage,or the confusing emotions where you’ll never know them. I can’t believe I stood a belief that I can fix everything my older self self destructed two years ago. I just want to be with them all again. I went from angry to a coward. Why does these seasons cause me hell of being alone? I don’t even have an appeitite anymore,and my eyes look so dull and baggy with dark undereyes. I just wanna place the iron on my skin again till I can draw shapes. I just want to punish myself. Maybe I should just sleep it off while it’s sitting in my chest before I do something ignorant again. I hate how I can’t feel. I hate how my words just ring hollow to myself,but seem to mean something to people. I hate you made me so numb. You never apologized for violating me all those years. 19 years and I hate how I didn’t want you to go to jail so I shut up even as an adult. You even said no one would love me,and the one I yearn for I’m so scared to speak to..to all the ones I cared for. I won’t ever feel again and I may have to blame you. Being called someone who mocked mental illness when all I wanted to do was die at 7 years. If I have to keep living then I never want to fall into another emotion again. I’ll continue to only help others while I slowly plan my early end.
;~; I despise you made another side to me who’s only someone who just wants to hurt herself when they were sick of hurting others. I just want to feel something again. I’m tired of only feeling like my heartbeat is crushed by my rib cage.

God what the fuck did my mind create. Make it stop coming to me every night. You made it so ugly. I don’t wanna die but it wanted me to die everytime I get selfish with adoring other people.
Why did help create it in my mind? I promise I won’t ever interact with anyone again. I won’t ever try and feel again. I’ll be alone. Why do you haunt me after your death. I haven’t done enough to my body I bet. I have to correct myself more. You said no one would love me like you did when you hurt me. That now I can only work and not feel a thing and just slowly gave the same thing wipe me that wiped my family.
I can’t see this light anymore. Why does my vision feel like a cave
I forgot to mention. Please don’t quote this. Thank you. Have a good day. I just felt comfortable letting this out.
 
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Joy

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It's back to work after a week off and my anxiety level is going through the roof. This feeling never quite leaves me, but I find it worse after a break from my routine. I’m having a anxiety attack right now with all of its symptoms . My chest is already tightening to the idea of having to interact with real people again. I hate this routine but at the same time I am nothing without it. A few days apart from civilization is enough for me to lose the little sociability that I have. I’m afraid of what could happen if I ask for a longer holiday. Still, my body is so tired.
 

Joy

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Saw the doctor today. Major depression apparently. Cessation of work, medication and psychotherapy. I hope the extra help will do something to take some of this weight off me. I was sinking on my own.
 

Lilac

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Saw the doctor today. Major depression apparently. Cessation of work, medication and psychotherapy. I hope the extra help will do something to take some of this weight off me. I was sinking on my own.
I hope it’ll go okay. It’s good to get help,but I hope the medication helps you :c You’re a very strong person to hold this long. Feel proud like a warrior. c: you’re limitless
 

Lilac

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Last night,a highschool bus driver who would drive for my school for four years,was killed in a collision by a semi,the semi driver was announced dead the end of the night. The girls on the bus for the normal west basketball game are all fine,but one broken her leg and my old coach was on it as well,and was last in critical condition.
It made me wonder...Do we live? Or,do we wake up to only be taken away becuse my whole city has been filled into dread. Sometimes I wonder if I wake up,and head outside to only get struck by a car or shot like the teenage boy who died two days ago in a homicide by a place where everyone can skate. This month has just been so heavy in dreadand I feel awful speaking to people,knowing I’m trying to barricade my mental state from infecting them.
I’m so afraid to leave my house. I’m so afraid to die...But,at the same time I’ve made over 12 attempts in my life,and my most fatal two years ago after my molestors death. For once in my life..I’m not okay. My mother told me,I was laughing and crying on the bathroom last night. Just laughing like a psychiotic jokester. I feel my mind slip away each passing day,but I do know I don’t want to try and die like I always have since I was 8. Everyone I knew would get hurt after I meet them,or die. I know it’s just paranoia,but I love people so much where I have to accept being away from them and I have to be careful not to hurt them. I want to plant beautiful things in them,like a smile or happy tears.How would people feel knowing my true dark secret that makes me a hazard to myself. I’m going to use this health thread..to finally openly tell you people.
The one person who’s the happiest,who always wanted to help...is sometimes the person who takes it all.
Thank you to the truly amazing ones from ALLKPOP,Thank you to the ones of KPS. You people are always so kind even when it’s not active. You’re still here. Thank you to the ones on discord.
I promise I won’t end in another attempt getting closer each year,but sadly it means slowly I have to be away for weeks. This thread now means the world to me because it’s what I truly am. Planting vibrant seeds into my garden to bloom when really the people,all of them online,are the flowers.
Thank you for waking up today
Thank you for understanding your mental state comes first. Please don’t be like me and always put others first. I want to help others again completely,but it needs time to heal. Thank you for being here at KPS. This,and the discord is like my online home. Please be kind to the staff,and please be kind to my friends. But,if anyone sees this. You’re my friend.
Take time to heal yourself. I’ll be away,but just know even if we don’t know eachother. Seeing you all clears my mind from the dark where I want to get better.

Stay safe. I love you all c: <3 Goodnye for the time being. I’ll see you for the holidays.
 
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Please stop.

Anytime any fucking time this shit happens my suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, inability to sleep, inability to eat properly, inability to FUNCTION LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN BEING THIS SHIT FUCKIN HAPPENS JUST STOP FFS.
 

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