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✯ ✵ Mental Health Support✯ ✵ (1 Viewer)

kodoku

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I miss her. I just really really miss her. I dont like this. I feel helpless, how do I win her back. Does she want to be won back even..

Im so lost and heartbroken, its horrible. I never felt like this before. What makes it worse idek how she is. If she is safe. That kills me not knowing.

Its been a while time doesnt help it I only miss her more she is cruel but i deserve it.. i wonder if she takes satisfaction knowing she left me in this state its her payback. Im crazy lol.
Idk what's going on but.. all I can say is time really does heal, this too shall pass..

i love Shinee to death they are one of the most early groups i got into .... now when i see them perform as 4 remembering Jonghyun and i know they are still sad about it... i am not enjoying it and i feel sad seeing them without him. :hmm:
it really is sad :( I hope you feel better about it soon..
 
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Joy

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I wanna scream but I’m scared somebody will hear me. I wanna say what I really feel but I don’t wanna bores the people kind enough to talk to me. I’m scared. There’s a girl inside my head. She has my voice but I’m not really sure that she is me. I can’t control her. Am I going crazy? Everytime I’m alone she comes back to hunt me. There’s suddenly no words for me to take off my mind off of things, no bip from new notifications, new interactions . Just silence. It leaves her all the place she needs to torture me. Why does she hate me so much?

I can’t move. If I move I’ll get up. If I get up, I’ll hurt myself. I’ll listen to her. So I mustn’t move and stay quiet, maybe she’ll go to sleep before me. Maybe she will leave me alone for tonight. Don’t move, stay quiet. Don’t move. Stay quiet. I’m so scared. Why am I so scared. Don’t move.
 
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kodoku

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I wanna scream but I’m scared somebody will hear me. I wanna say what I really feel but I don’t wanna bores the people kind enough to talk to me. I’m scared. There’s a girl inside my head. She has my voice but I’m not really sure that she is me. I can’t control her. Am I going crazy? Everytime I’m alone she comes back to hunt me. There’s suddenly no words for me to take off my mind off of things, no bip from new notifications, new interactions . Just silence. It leaves her all the place she needs to torture me. Why does she hate me so much?

I can’t move. If I move I’ll get up. If I get up, I’ll hurt myself. I’ll listen to her. So I mustn’t move and stay quiet, maybe she’ll go to sleep before me. Maybe she will leave me alone for tonight. Don’t move, stay quiet. Don’t move. Stay quiet. I’m so scared. Why am I so scared. Don’t move.
hun what's going on? :( it's okay, breathe. You are safe and you will be okay. You're not alone because I'm here for you <333
 
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Joy

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It’s like being in a hole. With people above you, stretching out their helping hands towards you. But what if I bring someone down with me? What if I’m too heavy and can’t be lifted? What if I try but than they change their mind and let go of my hand, making me fall back into my hole, deeper? I don’t want people to help me. It’s too scary. Burry me instead. It’s less effort. See, i digged the hole myself. I’m already there.

It’s one of those days again. Didn’t sleep well. Fell asleep crying, woke up crying. This life is exhausting. I’m so tired
 

lexusuwu

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I’m getting sick and tired of being alone. I haven’t had any real life friends since I was 13, and when I was friends with them we didn’t even know each other personally yet. At first the loneliness wasn’t that bad back then. Of course I still wanted friends, but still had my family to keep me company and I was content with that. Over time though, the loneliness has gotten a lot worse. I’m beginning to have a lot of crying spells over it. Because of my anxiety I can’t just go out and do normal things. I can’t work, I can’t go to school on campus, I can’t out to eat, etc. I tried to find places to volunteer at and there’s practically nothing I can do. I tried looking into it as an attempt to make friends, but it was just pointless. Either the people I would work with would be way older than me, or I’d have to do things that cause me a great amount of anxiety. I tried talking to my mom about this and I get nowhere. It feels like she doesn’t even care. Even if I’m crying my eyes out she doesn’t even care. She just tells me that “we’ll figure something out”. There’s pretty much nothing else I can do so there’s nothing to “figure out” anymore.
I’m just tired of it. My mom has a husband and my nephew. My brother has his son and my other brother has his friends and lives 8 hours away. As for me, I have no one close to me. I don’t have a friend. I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I’m stuck in my room the whole day, while my mom and everyone stays in the living room. I feel like I’d never be good enough to be anyone’s friend or girlfriend anymore. No one would want to be friends with someone who can barely go out in public and leave her house. I don’t want to give up on making friends, but as this point, I feel like it’s pountless to even try anymore.
 

kodoku

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It’s like being in a hole. With people above you, stretching out their helping hands towards you. But what if I bring someone down with me? What if I’m too heavy and can’t be lifted? What if I try but than they change their mind and let go of my hand, making me fall back into my hole, deeper? I don’t want people to help me. It’s too scary. Burry me instead. It’s less effort. See, i digged the hole myself. I’m already there.

It’s one of those days again. Didn’t sleep well. Fell asleep crying, woke up crying. This life is exhausting. I’m so tired
Breathe, breathe girlie.. and try to think a bit less if you can, it's gonna be okay <3

I’m getting sick and tired of being alone. I haven’t had any real life friends since I was 13, and when I was friends with them we didn’t even know each other personally yet. At first the loneliness wasn’t that bad back then. Of course I still wanted friends, but still had my family to keep me company and I was content with that. Over time though, the loneliness has gotten a lot worse. I’m beginning to have a lot of crying spells over it. Because of my anxiety I can’t just go out and do normal things. I can’t work, I can’t go to school on campus, I can’t out to eat, etc. I tried to find places to volunteer at and there’s practically nothing I can do. I tried looking into it as an attempt to make friends, but it was just pointless. Either the people I would work with would be way older than me, or I’d have to do things that cause me a great amount of anxiety. I tried talking to my mom about this and I get nowhere. It feels like she doesn’t even care. Even if I’m crying my eyes out she doesn’t even care. She just tells me that “we’ll figure something out”. There’s pretty much nothing else I can do so there’s nothing to “figure out” anymore.
I’m just tired of it. My mom has a husband and my nephew. My brother has his son and my other brother has his friends and lives 8 hours away. As for me, I have no one close to me. I don’t have a friend. I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I’m stuck in my room the whole day, while my mom and everyone stays in the living room. I feel like I’d never be good enough to be anyone’s friend or girlfriend anymore. No one would want to be friends with someone who can barely go out in public and leave her house. I don’t want to give up on making friends, but as this point, I feel like it’s pountless to even try anymore.
I really know what you mean, I think I really understand it and I've truly been there too... that's why I can tell you there's no such thing as it being too late to make friends, there's no expiration date on you or your ability to do that.. I understand why you'd think so, but everything can change, anything can happen at any time. I was pretty much always alone too.. I literally lived in isolation for years tbh, but now I have a whole new life and some people in it. You'll find friendship sooner or later, one way or another. The more you put yourself out there, the better your chances are ofc. Another thing, you could also write a letter to your mom and maybe she will take your more seriously that way (if you want to, I'll help you). And the best thing you will ever do for yourself is to learn to be on your own and be happy anyway, with yourself.. ofc we all need emotional support, but try not to depend on someone else too much. I'm always here if you wanna talk and if you'd like, I'd wanna be your friend hehe <3
 

Joy

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honestly i don't deserve happiness but it's all i want lmao
yet i constantly harass it when i have it
I don’t see why you wouldn’t be deserving. You made me smile just for a few min and it has had a positive effect on my day. Don’t diminish yourself. And it’s ok to be scared.Everyone wants to love and to be loved. But yet, it means being able to trust someone enough to put your heart into their hands and take the risk of getting it back one day all broken. It's a bit like happiness. We want it all, but by fear of losing it, we constantly test it. To be certain that the knots are strong enough, we constantly pulls on the rope. It does not make you abnormal. Its ok to wanna be secured. Those who love you will stay.


And thank you for considering me your friend. Congrats, you just won the most annoying big sis eva
 
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lexusuwu

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Breathe, breathe girlie.. and try to think a bit less if you can, it's gonna be okay <3



I really know what you mean, I think I really understand it and I've truly been there too... that's why I can tell you there's no such thing as it being too late to make friends, there's no expiration date on you or your ability to do that.. I understand why you'd think so, but everything can change, anything can happen at any time. I was pretty much always alone too.. I literally lived in isolation for years tbh, but now I have a whole new life and some people in it. You'll find friendship sooner or later, one way or another. The more you put yourself out there, the better your chances are ofc. Another thing, you could also write a letter to your mom and maybe she will take your more seriously that way (if you want to, I'll help you). And the best thing you will ever do for yourself is to learn to be on your own and be happy anyway, with yourself.. ofc we all need emotional support, but try not to depend on someone else too much. I'm always here if you wanna talk and if you'd like, I'd wanna be your friend hehe <3
Thanks for understanding. I’m glad that someone can relate to me. I guess I need to stop depending so much on others.
Im not sure if writing a letter to my mom would work, but I can consider it.
Thanks💙
 

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Being upset because someone called her fat, the other crying due to school, ranting, for whatever reasons I find it admirable that they can show their hurt openly. For me, it's always no one knows what's happening with her. No one actually knows except herself, but she's going to be fine anyway, she handles it. Always reliable. I'm actually not, I feel like crying half the time no matter what I'm doing and wish I could be hugged by someone. I wouldn't be able to step back first. I don't allow myself to ever cry in front of anyone, I did one time in the past and the worst part about it was not even being able to say why it happened. Knowing she was shocked because it was unlike myself. How can I tell someone who's been through experiences I can't imagine, that I just wanted to die when I'm so, so lucky it all aligned like this and I'm here. I'm confusing. I don't even know. I feel so bad whenever people like my sisters look at me and want to be what I show. They want to talk without bursting into tears, intimidate people with their anger because that'd be the only emotion to feel alright with showing, they want to never cry in front of anyone, they want to follow that and it's like, no, because there's nothing wrong with being upset. With crying. Being sad. Needing someone. I don't, not because I'm strong but because it doesn't help, it makes it worse. So I let it go. I'll give them those hugs if they need it, I'll go to their school and tell off anyone who is bothering them, I'll speak when they can't, I'll be that someone I wanted to have a long time ago as well. So they never have to be alone. All I want? For them to stop looking up to me for this reason. We're so different. I honestly hope they will never be like me.
 

kodoku

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Being upset because someone called her fat, the other crying due to school, ranting, for whatever reasons I find it admirable that they can show their hurt openly. For me, it's always no one knows what's happening with her. No one actually knows except herself, but she's going to be fine anyway, she handles it. Always reliable. I'm actually not, I feel like crying half the time no matter what I'm doing and wish I could be hugged by someone. I wouldn't be able to step back first. I don't allow myself to ever cry in front of anyone, I did one time in the past and the worst part about it was not even being able to say why it happened. Knowing she was shocked because it was unlike myself. How can I tell someone who's been through experiences I can't imagine, that I just wanted to die when I'm so, so lucky it all aligned like this and I'm here. I'm confusing. I don't even know. I feel so bad whenever people like my sisters look at me and want to be what I show. They want to talk without bursting into tears, intimidate people with their anger because that'd be the only emotion to feel alright with showing, they want to never cry in front of anyone, they want to follow that and it's like, no, because there's nothing wrong with being upset. With crying. Being sad. Needing someone. I don't, not because I'm strong but because it doesn't help, it makes it worse. So I let it go. I'll give them those hugs if they need it, I'll go to their school and tell off anyone who is bothering them, I'll speak when they can't, I'll be that someone I wanted to have a long time ago as well. So they never have to be alone. All I want? For them to stop looking up to me for this reason. We're so different. I honestly hope they will never be like me.
You're wonderful though, I don't think your sisters are wrong cutie <3
 
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i'm tired of myself being obsessed with looks to this level. I stare in the mirror multiple times a day to figure out what feature of mine is ugly and what is not. Whenever I see a pretty girl i look at her with an obsession trying to figure if she is prettier than me or not. I'm more addicted to makeup than before. I used to go out bare faced sometimes but i cant now. I'm insecure with my stick skinny body.
I am just TOO obsessed with visuals even if not a humans'. Spending 3 days thinking if you picked the right color of the pencil definitely isnt healthy.
Sigh....this is a teenage issue im facing in my adult years.
 
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kodoku

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i'm tired of myself being obsessed with looks to this level. I stare in the mirror multiple times a day to figure out what feature of mine is ugly and what is not. Whenever I see a pretty girl i look at her with an obsession trying to figure if she is prettier than me or not. I'm more addicted to makeup than before. I used to go out bare faced sometimes but i cant now. I'm insecure with my stick skinny body.
I am just TOO obsessed with visuals even if not a humans'. Spending 3 days thinking if you picked the right color of the pencil definitely isnt healthy.
Sigh....this is a teenage issue im facing in my adult years.
you've already made the first step and that's recognizing the issue. And trust me you are not alone.. I'm 26 and I still struggle with the same thing too, I don't think it's that rare actually.. it's hard for women because of the pressure of the media and everything.. it's so hard, I know.. I do the same things, I hate myself endlessly.. but the good news is that we can work on accepting ourselves :)
 
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It all feels empty. I'm in a never ending circle of death and despair. No matter what I do I can't escape any of it. These feelings barely ever dull. I just wish I could breathe without it all hurting. I miss Tyler. I always knew I relied on him but I never knew I did THIS much until now that he is gone. We were so close to meeting each other. We lived so damn close. We could have met. He was really like my older brother I just wanted to hug him. My gosh this past year and a half has been so awful. Losing so many people. My entire stability collapsing. I'm still so young, nobody this young should feel like this. I fucking hurt so badly. This night has worn me down completely. One year since someone I loved died. Everything is death. Everything in my life is death and loss. Why can't I fucking have anything good with the people around me happen. I lose everything.
 
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kodoku

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It all feels empty. I'm in a never ending circle of death and despair. No matter what I do I can't escape any of it. These feelings barely ever dull. I just wish I could breathe without it all hurting. I miss Tyler. I always knew I relied on him but I never knew I did THIS much until now that he is gone. We were so close to meeting each other. We lived so damn close. We could have met. He was really like my older brother I just wanted to hug him. My gosh this past year and a half has been so awful. Losing so many people. My entire stability collapsing. I'm still so young, nobody this young should feel like this. I fucking hurt so badly. This night has worn me down completely. One year since someone I loved died. Everything is death. Everything in my life is death and loss. Why can't I fucking have anything good with the people around me happen. I lose everything.
I'm so sorry, this is heartbreaking.. I don't even dare to try to comfort you.. just please keep holding on, I'm always here if you need someone to talk to
 
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Joy

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Being upset because someone called her fat, the other crying due to school, ranting, for whatever reasons I find it admirable that they can show their hurt openly. For me, it's always no one knows what's happening with her. No one actually knows except herself, but she's going to be fine anyway, she handles it. Always reliable. I'm actually not, I feel like crying half the time no matter what I'm doing and wish I could be hugged by someone. I wouldn't be able to step back first. I don't allow myself to ever cry in front of anyone, I did one time in the past and the worst part about it was not even being able to say why it happened. Knowing she was shocked because it was unlike myself. How can I tell someone who's been through experiences I can't imagine, that I just wanted to die when I'm so, so lucky it all aligned like this and I'm here. I'm confusing. I don't even know. I feel so bad whenever people like my sisters look at me and want to be what I show. They want to talk without bursting into tears, intimidate people with their anger because that'd be the only emotion to feel alright with showing, they want to never cry in front of anyone, they want to follow that and it's like, no, because there's nothing wrong with being upset. With crying. Being sad. Needing someone. I don't, not because I'm strong but because it doesn't help, it makes it worse. So I let it go. I'll give them those hugs if they need it, I'll go to their school and tell off anyone who is bothering them, I'll speak when they can't, I'll be that someone I wanted to have a long time ago as well. So they never have to be alone. All I want? For them to stop looking up to me for this reason. We're so different. I honestly hope they will never be like me.
That’s so admirable of you. Wish I could give you that hug you need.
 
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Joy

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It all feels empty. I'm in a never ending circle of death and despair. No matter what I do I can't escape any of it. These feelings barely ever dull. I just wish I could breathe without it all hurting. I miss Tyler. I always knew I relied on him but I never knew I did THIS much until now that he is gone. We were so close to meeting each other. We lived so damn close. We could have met. He was really like my older brother I just wanted to hug him. My gosh this past year and a half has been so awful. Losing so many people. My entire stability collapsing. I'm still so young, nobody this young should feel like this. I fucking hurt so badly. This night has worn me down completely. One year since someone I loved died. Everything is death. Everything in my life is death and loss. Why can't I fucking have anything good with the people around me happen. I lose everything.
Please , hang on. You may not believe it right now but it will get better. Let the grieve past. I’ve became an orphan at age 20. Never had a dad, mom’s passing, got rejected by my siblings . Lost all I knew at once. Still grieving to this day, there’s no defined time period, but I promise you, although you will always miss those you lost, one day, you’ll be able to think of those moments you had with them without the suffering. You’ll keep those memories with you, they will forever be yours, and you’ll get stronger. Give time to time. Just breathe. You will live through this.
 

kodoku

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In order to change things, I need to think and make a plan before taking action... but even beginning to think makes me anxious to the point where I just want to run away and I lose all my strength so easily... so what is it that I can do? I need to change my job, I should've done it long ago and now it's like this and it's my own responsibility. A new stressful era is ahead and I'll lose more time. Sigh, why am I like this? I can barely handle anything. This job is destroying my body and health more and more, but I have no faith in myself and for good reason tbh (but no one else knows just how bad it is). I'm sick of these petty people around me making me a worse human being than I am and constantly being exhausted from withering away. All I do is work and try to rest when I'm not. I should do more with myself and my life, this is such a waste of everything. I'm not happy, I'm not even living, and I am runing myself this way while getting older too. Will my youth really pass me by so meaninglessly? I can't accept such a thing... I've never been able to shake off the feeling that I'm not the way I should be and doing what I should be doing. I've been alone too much, it feels like I'm frozen in a repeating empty and tiring moment...I'm just... dissatisfied...
 
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In order to change things, I need to think and make a plan before taking action... but even beginning to think makes me anxious to the point where I just want to run away and I lose all my strength so easily... so what is it that I can do? I need to change my job, I should've done it long ago and now it's like this and it's my own responsibility. A new stressful era is ahead and I'll lose more time. Sigh, why am I like this? I can barely handle anything. This job is destroying my body and health more and more, but I have no faith in myself and for good reason tbh (but no one else knows just how bad it is). I'm sick of these petty people around me making me a worse human being than I am and constantly being exhausted from withering away. All I do is work and try to rest when I'm not. I should do more with myself and my life, this is such a waste of everything. I'm not happy, I'm not even living, and I am runing myself this way while getting older too. Will my youth really pass me by so meaninglessly? I can't accept such a thing... I've never been able to shake off the feeling that I'm not the way I should be and doing what I should be doing. I've been alone too much, it feels like I'm frozen in a repeating empty and tiring moment...I'm just... dissatisfied...
Looking for a new job would be the best way to go, but depending on how big the issue is, you could confront your boss or just leave the job altogether.
 
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