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I need a hug or something wow :") a reason
there I go laughing it off again
anything would do
didn't realize I was even upset, because sometimes I'm disconnected
I keep trying to find a way
but maybe there's no way out of it
no matter what you do
I stay hopeful and try anyway
get up again
but that could only last so long
right?
even everyone is telling me I seem so happy and what's happened
and sometimes I actually feel like I'm that full of life? maybe that's the me underneath it? doesn't feel like I'm pretending in the moment
but later on it just goes away completely, and that's how it's been since forever
fixing your mind is not easy
but at least I gained my weight back right? and I'm not defined by just that? right? never mind
I don't really feel like forcing positivity, let's just feel it, let it pass, then we'll be ourself again and happy about something and it will go until the next time
I guess I do look like I'm doing better but that's just following the motions, you know?
being good at it, like a performance
I could be doing badly even if I exercise and eat well and walk in the sun and whatever
I wonder what it's like to actually be and feel better, like everyone else seems...
this unit is actually interesting
finally something mentally stimulating for once
would rather something I can put thought into than all these same regurgitated essays x.x
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